Late, Late Edition With Guitar Ted

Subtitle: I'll take mine "poached".

Hey! It's late, but not too late! Guitar Ted on some trail etiquette issues! Listen up, yo!

Lately, in the news of the offroad, I've noticed an alarming rise in TRAIL CLOSURES and CUTBACKS ON ACCESS. Not good, people! This stuff has been a problem for years. Now, for some strange reason, it seems to be getting worse. Here's a "Guitar Ted" take on what I think.

You'd think by now we, as an overall user group, would have this figured out by now. Don't sh!t in your bed, and you, and the others that "sleep" with you won't stink. ( Okay, maybe that wasn't such a great metaphor. Work with me here a bit!) The trail access these days ROCKS compared to what it used to be. Yet, somehow, in a search for greater thrills, challenges, and yes, STUPIDITY, some of us have gone off the beaten path- literally! Bigger air, larger gaps, and higher speeds are possible, and desired by certain MTB'ers. The challenges of "Mother Nature" not being enough, some have resorted to building their own "stunts" to satisfy their cravings. Of course, no one knows what "rocks your world" best but you. So, they go off on their own passion fueled path, reeking havoc on pristine ecological areas without thought to the sometimes permanent damage that they do. Throw in the inherant risks to life and limb that the "extreme" fringes of MTB'ing embrace, and you can see the concerns of land managers across the country building into a gathering storm that most of us mountain bikers would rather not be caught in.

You say, "But I live here, in the Midwest, ( or where ever you live), and this stuff doesn't happen here". Well, podner, I got sum nyuuuze fer ya! We all wear the same name to the "outsiders" lookin' in. So, if'n one of us screws up, and gits one of our trails ANYWHERE shut down, it reflects on all of us. We all stink in their noses! Plus, it DOES HAPPEN HERE! Just ask me about the "Flat Shore" trail. Just ask me about why we can't ride ALL of Hickory Hills. Just start asking anybody that's been riding for a long time. They'll tell ya', too. Don't poach! Don't ride where you don't belong! Don't build a new trail, unless you ask permission, first! DON'T MAKE ME STINK!!!!!! because of YOUR RECKLESSNESS!!!!!! AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! DIE!

What I Say: Ooooo! That topic makes me all happy 'n stuff- NOT! Rant mode OFF! Well, now that the masses have all taken in enough calories to fuel their own bodies for a year, in THREE DAYS, now it's time to HIT THE GYM! Have fun by counting how many drop out in three weeks. Take bets with your cycling buddies! Have fun with it! Guitar Ted over and OUT! New Year's Eve rides ROCK! Stay on the trails! Have some fun, already!